Always Yours Read online

  Always Yours

  Dedication

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Epilogue

  The End

  Acknowledgments

  Playlist

  About the Author

  Watch for...

  ALWAYS YOURS

  by Kari March

  Published by Kari March

  Copyright © 2014 by Kari March

  This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This e-book may not be sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you are reading this book and you did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return it and purchase your own copy. Thank you for supporting and respecting the hard work of this author.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. The author acknowledges the trademark status and trademark owners of various products referenced in the work of fiction.

  Cover Designed by K23 Design

  Cover Art Produced by Daniel Erny

  Edited by Eileen Proksch

  Formatted by Perfectly Publishable

  This story is dedicated to Cara Arthur.

  I love you lady! I hope I made your fictional HEA an amazing one. Keep it classy and don't forget to smile every day.

  I woke up to the muffled sound of my mother's panic-stricken cries. I wiped my eyes and swung my legs over the bed as I looked at the clock—1:19am. Lately, this seemed like a regular occurrence. My parents had been fighting a lot lately. I had spent many nights listening to them from the top of the stairs. My mom was always upset when he would come home late from work. They were always arguing about my dad's boss, Rochelle. I never understood why my mom got so upset—Rochelle was Daddy's boss. He had to do what she said if he wanted to keep his job. One way or another, my parents always made up—my dad would say he was sorry and that was that. But something told me tonight was different—my mom never cried like this before.

  Just then I heard my daddy's voice as it drifted up the stairs and into my bedroom.

  "Tell her whatever you want to, Maggie. I'm leaving!" I took a deep breath. He sounded angry.

  Wait! Where was he going?

  He just got home from another stupid business trip. I never got to spend time with him. He was always working. I couldn't even remember the last time he had been home for more than two days. I missed him like any little girl would miss their father and I think he finally noticed. Before he left on this last trip, he had promised me that this weekend he would make it up to me by spending every day with just me. I was so excited to finally get some daddy-daughter time with him that I counted down the days until he returned.

  Everything was silent, except the painful sobs of my mother. Quietly, I climbed out of my bed, opened the door and sat down at the top of the stairs so I could hear them better.

  Between Mommy's sobs, I heard her softly ask, "How could you do this?"

  I heard Daddy expel a loud sigh. "Christ, Maggie, you think I like doing this? You think I like living a lie?" He paused and it got quiet for a second. "Rochelle is pregnant again."

  Who cares if she's having a baby? Why did they always fight about her?

  "I can't keep living like this, Mags." His voice sounded soft and sad. "I have to make a choice and Rochelle and the girls...they need me more right now."

  The girls? Who was he talking about?

  "They need you?" Mommy said, her voice turning angry. "What about Cara? She needs you, too!" I put my hands over my ears. Mommy's voice was loud. "I've known about you and Rochelle for years now, but I stayed, for Cara's sake! And now, just because you fucked up again, you're going to run out on her like this—abandon her without even saying goodbye? She deserves more than that from her father!"

  Daddy, please don't leave me.

  That's when my tummy started to hurt. Frantically, I ran down the stairs—I wanted to go with him.

  When I rounded the corner to the living room, I saw my mommy sitting on the floor, her knees pulled into her chest, tears pouring down her face. She looked so sad. My dad was standing by the front door, luggage in hand, as he pushed his fingers through his hair—his face blank.

  "Daddy, don't leave!" I cried as I flung myself into his arms. The tears started pouring from my eyes. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight.

  "I have to, princess. Your mother and I....we...." He sighed. "I have to go." He removed my arms from his waist and turned to the door, opening it slowly.

  "Take me with you, please, Daddy! I want to go with you!" I begged as I grabbed hold of his leg for dear life.

  He stopped and knelt down in front of me. "You'll always be my little princess, Cara, but right now you have to stay with Mommy." He wiped the tears from my face. "I need some time with..."

  "Rochelle?" I choked out. His head fell and he nodded slowly.

  "I won't get in the way. I promise! I'll be really good! Please, just take me with you, Daddy!" I cried out. "Don't you want me with you?"

  "Of course I want you with me, princess," he said as he placed his hands on my shoulders. "But I can't take you with me. Now, be a good girl and go back to bed. I'll see you again soon." He kissed my forehead and stood back up. Grabbing his suitcase, he walked out the door.

  He was really leaving me here. How could he not want me? I was his princess.

  Before he could shut it I ran after him. "Daddy! No!" I screamed as my sobs took over. "I'm coming with you!" I followed him down the porch stairs and into the dark. When we got to the car, I opened up the passenger door and got in as he placed his bag in the trunk.

  Just as I was buckling my seat belt, I felt my daddy's strong grip around my arm. "That's enough, Cara!" he yelled, startling me. His tone was cold. It scared me. He yanked me out of the car and shut the door. Pain shot through my arm as he squeezed it. Shaking my shoulders, he continued shouting at me. "Stop acting like a baby! You can't come! Go back inside with Mommy and leave me alone!"

  His words crushed me. I looked up at him and didn't know who he was—he wasn't my daddy anymore. I could feel it. Rochelle had been slowly taking him away, but now, looking into his unfamiliar eyes, I knew he was completely gone. I sunk down to the ground and pulled my knees into my chest as I rocked back and forth, trying to comfort myself as I watched him get into the car. I looked out into the darkness, staring at the taillights as they disappeared around the corner.

  I never saw him again.

  How do you tell someone that their life is about to change? I mean—really change....forever.

  I had no clue how I was going to tell him, all I knew was that I had to do it.

  Tonight.

&n
bsp; I was scared shitless, yet, at the same time, kind of excited. Then again, I had five weeks to process what was happening—he was clueless. I was about to turn his whole world upside down and all I could do was pray that somehow we would get through this together. There was no way I could do this on my own. I needed him to be there for me, to hold my hand and stand by me through all of this. But something in my gut was telling me that what I wanted didn't matter anymore.

  What if he accuses me of cheating? What if he leaves? What if he...

  I couldn't even finish the thought. Instantly, tears filled my eyes as images of my father flashed in my mind.

  No! He isn't like him! Lance would never walk away from me. He loves me!

  I wrapped my arms around my stomach, protecting the unborn child that was inside, as tears rolled down my face. I was only eight weeks pregnant, but I had already bonded immensely with the child that was growing inside me. Although I was terrified about having a baby at the age of eighteen, I was overjoyed about becoming a mother. I just prayed that Lance would feel the same way. I knew he would be in shock at first but hopefully, with time, he would be just as happy as I was about the situation. I still couldn't believe I had waited this long to tell him.

  I wiped the tears from my face, slipped on my jeans and pulled Lance's favorite sweatshirt over my head. It still smelled like him from the day before and it instantly relaxed me. I threw on my shoes and grabbed my keys and purse before heading out the door.

  The drive over to Lance's was painfully slow. He only lived ten minutes away, but it felt like I had been driving for hours when I pulled up to his house. We were supposed to be going to some party, but truthfully, partying was the last thing I felt like doing. I put the car in park and before I even had time to turn off the engine, he opened his door and started jogging towards me. My heartbeat picked up at the sight of him and my nerves hit me full force; suddenly, I felt like I needed to throw up.

  Shit! I can't do this!

  Just as I was about to put the car in reverse and hightail it out of there, my passenger door flew open and Lance plopped down in the seat next to me. Closing the door, he turned and smiled at me. His prominent dimples made all my anxiety float away. I grinned back at him and his amber colored eyes found mine. He reached out for me and gently placed a soft kiss on my lips.

  "Hey, princess," he said as he placed his hand on my cheek. "You ready to go?"

  Lance Perkins was one of the hottest guys at our school and, being the quarterback of the football team, all the girls flocked to him. When he asked me out last summer, I was completely taken aback. I wasn't anything like the girls he usually dated. In fact, I was the complete opposite. Before me, he usually would have been seen with a bleach blond cheerleader or an uptight and prissy know-it-all. But for the past ten months, he had been glued to my side. He was beyond ecstatic when I finally got accepted to Colorado University a few months ago. He had gotten a football scholarship there and had been pushing me to apply all year. I never really had any ambition to go to college, especially CU, but if Lance was going to be there, then I figured why not. I could get my degree in Business and then help my stepdad run Maggie's Place, the bar he owned, after I graduated. Our futures were mapped out perfectly, but now I had no clue if we would be traveling down the same road.

  "Umm, yeah, I guess," I answered hesitantly. I put the car in reverse and backed out of his driveway.

  Lance talked the whole way to the party. I, however, was in a daze and barely even heard what he was saying. I nodded and replied every now and then with a 'yeah' or an 'uh huh’, but I had no clue what he was talking about. The only thing on my mind was how Lance was going to react to becoming a father.

  When we finally pulled up at the party, I threw my car in park and took a deep breath. I had to do it now or I knew I never would. I took a deep breath as my leg bounced up and down nervously. Lance looked over at me and for the first time noticed my uneasy demeanor.

  "What's wrong, Cara?" he asked. "You've been acting so weird lately. Are you nervous about graduation or something?"

  Tears pricked my eyes and my mind started racing. I lowered my head and started fumbling with the drawstrings on my hoodie. I had no clue how I was going to tell him. I didn't want to just blurt it out—but that was exactly what I did.

  "I'm pregnant, Lance." I couldn't even look at him as I said it. Tears started falling down my face as the haunting sound of silence started to confirm my worst fears.

  He didn't move. He didn't speak. He just sat there.

  I didn't want to look at him, but for some reason, I couldn't help it. I slowly shifted my gaze and, when I did, my heart broke. His face was as white as a ghost and he looked like he was going to be sick—he looked just like I did when I first found out.

  I wanted to say something, but I knew what he needed was time to process everything, so I just sat there and tried to keep my sobs at bay.

  After what felt like an eternity, he finally spoke. When he did, I wished he wouldn't have. "Are you fucking kidding me, Cara?" I recoiled at his words. His tone was cold and distant—he was going to leave! I knew this tone all too well. He was going to be just like my father and walk away from me when I needed him the most.

  I closed my eyes and my father's face flashed in my vision.

  Please, don't leave me like he did...

  "Fuck!" Lance screamed, pulling me from my nightmare. I looked over as he pushed his hands though his dirty blond hair. I jumped when he suddenly slammed his fist down on the dashboard. "No...no way! This can't be happening. It's not mine. Please, tell me it's not mine, Cara," he said through clenched teeth. He finally looked at me and his eyes were full of suspicion.

  "How could you even ask me that, Lance? Of course it's yours!" I said, my voice cracking as I held back the resentment I was feeling. I couldn't believe he actually thought I would cheat on him.

  "Shit!" he muttered as his head fell into his hands, shaking it back and forth like he was trying to wake himself up from the nightmare we were in. He took a deep breath and I thought he was finally starting to calm down. "What are you going to do about it?" he asked as he looked up at me. The guilt in his eyes made me sick to my stomach.

  I knew what he meant by the question, but there was absolutely no way I was ever going to do it. The word abortion struck my mind the moment I found out about the baby, but I quickly pushed those horrible thoughts away. Adoption had also crossed my mind, but I knew there was no way I could ever give up a child—no matter what the circumstances.

  The tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife. I turned in my seat so I was facing him. I knew it was wrong not telling him sooner about the baby, but I wasn't going to wait to tell him my intentions.

  "Lance, I'm keeping this baby," I said as I reached for his hands. "I know this isn't exactly how we saw our future, but what's done is done. We can raise this baby together and have the family we always talked about, just a little early is all. Please, don't let this break us apart."

  He closed his eyes and inhaled a deep breath before turning to look at me. His dark amber eyes found mine as he reached across the car and cradled my face with his hand. Leaning in, he kissed me desperately. For a split second, all my fears vanished and then I tasted the salt of his tears. He pulled away and that's when I saw the remorse penetrating through his beautiful eyes. No!

  "I'm sorry, Cara, I can't," he said, his words heavy with shame. He knew he was being a coward and running away from me—from his child. I closed my eyes as tears poured from them. I wrapped my arms around my belly and sunk into the seat of the car. I felt so small as I rocked back and forth, trying to soothe the ache that was burning in my heart. When I finally found the courage to look at Lance, I saw the same distant look in his eyes I had seen in my father's the night he left.

  Suddenly, I was eight years old again—hopeless and terrified. "Please, don't leave," I whispered, desperately. I wanted to throw myself into his arms and beg him to stay, but I k
new it was no use. He was leaving and there was nothing I could do about it.

  "I can't do this! I can't be a father....I can't lose my ride to CU.....I....I just can't." He reached over and opened the car door. "You'll always be my princess, Cara," he said as he stepped out. The next thing I heard was the car door shutting. I looked up and watched him walk away into the darkness.

  I never saw him again.

  "Ugh, I'm going to kill her!" I screeched into the phone. "No, I will not calm down! This is the third time in two weeks she's called in sick, Shay. I can't keep covering for her like this." I quickly got off the couch and headed up the stairs towards my bedroom, stripping off my comfy t-shirt and sweat pants, while keeping the phone close to my ear. Shay was trying to keep me composed—but I'd had it with Tammy. I hired her four months ago so I could have a night away from the bar every week. I love running Maggie's Place, it's all I've wanted to do since I was ten, but I needed to have time for myself every once in a while as well. I relied on Tammy to run the bar when I wasn't there and she did a fantastic job…when she actually showed up to work.

  "Alright, Shay, make sure the bar is fully stocked," I said as I went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. "I'll be there within the hour." I hung up the phone and waited for the water to heat up.

  Shay was my top bartender as well as my best friend. I met her the day after my mom and I moved in with Royce, my stepdad, when I was twelve. Shay had lived across the street from us and was new to the neighborhood just like me. We instantly became inseparable, and the moment we both turned eighteen, Royce hired us at the bar. We started out serving tables but quickly made our way up the ladder. Royce taught us everything he knew about bartending and we both caught on quickly. When Shay and I were together behind the bar, it was like a scene straight out of the movie "Cocktail". We tossed bottles around like it was second nature—flipping them in the air, spinning them in our hands—the customers loved it.

  I begged and pleaded with Shay to take the supervisor position but she turned me down. She didn't want the commitment or the responsibility that came with the title. Shay was the most laid back, fun-loving person I knew. She always had a smile on her face and always saw the optimism in a situation—I was the complete opposite of her. Even though we looked like we could be sisters, our personalities were far from it.